February 2012
61 posts
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McSweeney's List: A Reject
I wrote and submitted a list to McSweeney’s. It was a no-go. So, here it is for you.
Most Anticipated Novels (With a Colon in the Title) of Summer 2012 By Chuck Young Time Traveling Stoner Dad: A Love Story – From Buddhist monk, Drukpa Tchouli, comes this fascinating adventure tale of an, “Ugh. How did I end up here?” head-in-hand type of dad/husband who inadvertently travels eight years...
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Today's Soundtrack (or Every Day)
Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey: Music from the Motion Picture
1 Slaughter - “Shout it Out.” Plays while the Evil Bill and Ted continue to wreck their human counterparts’ apartment. Right before getting another message from DeNomolos.
2 Winger - “Battle Stations.” Plays as Bill and Ted head for the Battle of the Bands competition, and Station constructs the good robot...
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"Kill You, Eat You and THEN Shit You" - God
Me: You've got to be shitting me.
Co-worker: Nope. I'd have to kill you and eat you first.
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openthepocketwatch:
Kasabian performing a...
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Heavy: Internet Rabbit Hole
“Marsilio Ficino famously argued that melancholy was the manifestation of a yearning for the great and eternal which, while universal, was necessarily more pronounced in those artists and philosophers seeking to transcend the concern of the everyday, and strive towards the divine. Truth, loss and melancholy are thus indissolubly wound together, the striving for the first both an admission...
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It is difficult to be more of a slave to what we put into our minds than to what we put into our bodies, but, goddamnit, we have to try. Right?
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“I’ve never been in the military
but I have this purple heart
I got it from...”
–
Rudy Francisco, My Honest Poem (via carnivorouspitcherplants)
I have a poem inside me about the silent promises our bodies make at the beginning. It probably has the words, “rust” and “buckle” or “crumble” and “lifespan” and probably,...
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Oh God, why did she have to happen? →
My favorite sentence from The Rum Diary (Film). Click the link to watch a clip.
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"We out in nature dawg, ain't no need to use...
Holy shit. This is the new best thing since the last best thing. But, yo, is that racist?
Love on the rocks with no ice.
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“Wow. What’s that tenuous piece of gristle.”
– Me whispering to myself right after looking at someone’s ass just now.
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“Uh-oh! I just shit my pantsuit.”
– Professional Lady
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Commuter Problems
She always calls at the exact moment that the radio decides to play a great fucking song.
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Watchlongreads:
100 ways to say the words to that special someone:
(36) She stands on the unpaved road with your newborn son on her breast. Even though she can’t hear you over the sound of the helicopter, you’re screaming the words. Six months and you’ll send for her. You promise.
On a rainy midspring morning 26 years later your son appears at the electronics store where you are senior sales. He’s...
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“The things you’ve made – your creations, little minions, little lumps of cloth,...”
– The Orange Eats Creeps - Grace Krilanovich
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Self Absorption at Discount Prices.: Valentines... →
theidiotking:
Candy is SO ??-2011. This year, get your V-tine a glob of hummus that you can both (Ghost-pottery style) form it into the shape of a heart.
February 14th is the perfect time to reveal that less-than-normal fetish of yours. If it’s REALLY elaborate, you can even go to the grocery/car repair store to gather the “ingredients” (car battery, anti-freeze, kale). It’ll be like a...
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On TV and Shit
Hey, remember this post? Well, looks like the show aired and you can click here if you want to see me sound like a muppet while telling the boring beginning of an actually amusing story (I left off all of the amusing parts because, I don’t know, it’s hard to think when someone shoves a microphone and camera in your face on the way to work. It’s like, “don’t look...
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Just came up with an idea that I’ll probably agonize over trying to flesh out in a way that makes any sense without making sense: a time traveling stoner dad love story told with a hallucinationatory tone. Inspired by a weird car ride riddled with deja vu / dream-memory and this line that the stranger in my head told me, “dreams seep into the feel of memory and reality,” while listening to...
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Zombie Cuddle: (and I'm not a TC hater) →
zombiecuddle:
I just find most writing by people my age, especially dudes, especially about sex, to be unreadably melancholy and almost comically weighty. And it’s important for millennial dudes to have a place to express that, BUT it is almost universally depressing to read about other people’s sexual/emotional unhappiness, especially when that unhappiness is not reflected through some mass of...
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Let’s spend Beat People’s Car Windows in with Bats Day sending people valentines.
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“A t-bone steak, cheese, eggs and Welch’s grape
Conversate for a few,...”
– Christopher Wallace
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Internet Hate: More Use of the Word, "Hipster"...
So a friend of mine found a website/blog that declares him King of the Hipsters: Jesus to the Fungi Scenesters. Basically someone took a bunch of pictures of him from his facebook and perez’d them to the maxxx. He doesn’t know this dude / have any connection to him. My friend posted the link (this link right here) with an “I guess I’m famous?” and the comments poured...